chronic illness, life, MS

Some people – Practice kindness

Amanda, walkamyelinmyshoes

I had a really wonderful then upsetting experience yesterday. I was in the ‘accessible’ lineup at the grocery store – simply because it was the shortest line, I’m still totally mobile. I left my cart to get another item and when I came back the cashier had put up her ‘closed’ sign but said I was fine because I was there before she closed.

As she was checking me through, very attentively asking me about the weight of the bags, saying how she was always careful because you never knew if someone had had shoulder surgery or something and how would you know?

Wonderful awareness for invisible illness, which is rare, but in the meantime, an older (72-ish) gentleman in a motorized wheelchair was waiting at the end of the belt trying to get her attention. When I signaled her, he asked if she was closed for a single bag of chips. She explained that she had no choice, she had to close and not take any more customers.

The man was understandably shocked that as a visibly disabled person she couldn’t bend the rules to make his day just a tad easier. To be fair, she was a lovely young woman who was following the rules – too young to really understand the implications of rigid rule-following.

I offered to check the chips through on my account, had her scan them and passed them back to the man. He insisted that I take the money from his bag and seemed a bit offended when I offered to pay. Finally I begged him to let this be the nice thing I did for the day and he laughed and let it go.

Then he got stuck. In the accessible aisle.

I offered to maneuver the chair but he said it was too heavy. It just took time for him to figure it out with his fisted hand that he could hardly control as he was wedged between the two counters.

He looked up at me and said, “This is just what it is to have MS.”

After a gulp, I responded, “I have MS too. I’m not where you are but I get it.”

He looked at me with tears in his eyes, went back to un-wedging himself and when he was free said, “Thank you very much. I really appreciate it.”

A wonderful exchange. Simple human caring and courtesy.

As I finished checking out, I saw that the same gentleman was slowly making his way out of the grocery store. A woman about my age was behind him with her cart, maintaining a respectful distance as he tried to make his body makes its way out of the store.

Just as he was almost through, a man with a single item, again about my age (ie.not a teenager or early twenties, ie. SHOULD KNOW BETTER) came up behind and yelled, ‘BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!’

WTF? Are you kidding me??

The asshole is lucky I couldn’t catch up with him or he’d be needing an ice pack.

Published by Amanda, walkamyelinmyshoes

ms warrior, gardener, writer?, daydreamer, beach comber, kitchen dancer, lucky Mama, happy wife

22 thoughts on “Some people – Practice kindness”

  1. Some people just are tactless and can’t be educated it seems but then again I know from experience that the ‘beep, beep’ giver has likely a hidden issue of his own! Thought provoking and heart strings pulling post Amanda. X

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  2. I needed a ramp put between the train and the platform a week ago so I could get my walker over the gap. It was the end of the line. Doncha know people who were old enough to know better breezed right by me and the conductor?
    Amazing!
    My husband glares at anyone puffing behind me at the grocers

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. It’s unreal that anybody thinks their life is that important that they can be so rude, impatient and uncaring. Who knows what that guy’s story is, I’m sure he has his own challenges, I just think everyone should be decent. Simple, but not. I’m sorry that happened to you. 😒💕

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  5. Many times I’m walking/moving slowly because my back hurts a lot. I look fine though and I’m sure I annoy people. It’s hard to believe someone “beeped” at a wheelchair… but then again… people. 😡

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. Oh my. “Some people…” is right. So frustrating to see the underbelly of human behavior. It takes no more effort to be patient and considerate than it does to be unkind. I wish more people understood that.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  7. I can see why you felt as you did, I so wish everyone would be kinder to everyone else. It costs nothing to show some human kindness to each other. We can only shine the our inner light I hope that others will do the same. 😇

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  8. WTF? what an ass. Seriously, this dude did that… to a man in a wheelchair…??? My blood is boiling!!! Thank YOU for your kindness, he will reflect on it at some time and realize not everyone is an ass like the fool who did that. Unbelievable.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  9. This is such a shame because that would have been a really good experience – I’ve never, ever known of a cashier paying any thought to invisible illness. I can understand her not wanting to bend the rules if she’s the kind of person who wants to stick to them & do her job well, too fearful to step away from that to do the ‘right’ thing in case she gets into trouble. It’s very kind of you to have his chips go through with your shop & to pay for them, a very good deed for the day indeed. But for him to get stuck… poor man, I can imagine getting equally frustrated and embarrassed at that. These things happen and it’s those around you that can make all the difference. Whoever the idiot was that decided to shout beeps behind him was hugely ignorant & deserves an ear full for that kind of behaviour. I almost feel sorry for him – he wouldn’t last a day with a condition like MS.
    Caz xx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks Caz. It was such a mish-mash of positive and negative, I had to share the experience. I’m going to go back and speak to the store manager about improving the accessible aisle and the rules. Where was the guy supposed to go if the accessible(not) lane isn’t open. Oh well, I guess you can’t buy food today?? Seriously? They need to move it to one of the end lanes and make sure it’s open all the time, or at least direct wheelchair users to be checked out at customer service. I’ll be interested to see how it goes! And you’re right, someone so weak and narrow-minded wouldn’t last a week with a chronic illness! 💕

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.