Big feelings after MS diagnosis: What I’ve learned in the decade since

First, relief. An answer to the strange symptoms that quickly consumed my life. See, I’m not making it up. It’s not all in my head. Except, uh, it was.

In no time, relief morphed into terror at the possibility of a very bleak future.

Three days after diagnosis, I found myself in the grocery store, choking on sobs as I reached for the Honey Nut Cheerios. How to make friends and influence people.

Everything felt impossible. Like I was walking through mud. Breathing took all my energy. My brain was on strike. The neurologist handed me a two foot tall stack of pharmaceutical pamphlets textbooks and said, “Pick one.” Not. Helpful.

I was on my own. So I figured it out. S-l-o-w-l-y. Let me help you get there faster.

My Post-Diagnosis Survival Kit (also handy for general life, especially these days)

1) First lifeline: Stepping outside for 5 minutes, and staring at the sky.

There’s something about the wide expanse of the sky that calms the swirling thoughts and grounds you in the reality that the planet’s still orbiting the sun and life keeps moving forward. 

Even when it feels like your life has crashed down around you.

2) Game-changer discovery: A simple breath technique that works. Baby belly breathing and extended exhales.

First let out a big exhale. This tells your body you’re not in imminent danger and immediately calms down the nervous system.

One hand on your belly. Inhale through your nose for 4 counts, feeling your belly expand.

Exhale through your nose or mouth for 6 counts, feeling your belly deflate.

Five minutes of deep belly breathing and your thoughts stop swirling. Your body shifts into a lower gear.

3) Five minute rule: This became my rule for healing that changed everything. You can do anything for 5 minutes, even on the hardest days. Walking, cleaning, cooking, crying… anything.

Once you prove it to yourself through consistency, it automatically makes you want to do more. That’s how change happens.

Small Shifts, Big Changes

Healing isn’t about giant leaps. And you can’t just heal your physical body. It’s an ‘all hands on deck’ situation of body, mind and spirit. It requires patience, self-compassion and consistency.

But healing is possible. Even if MS is incurable.

The mindset shift: From fixing everything to just doing one tiny thing.

Some days you have to congratulate yourself for moving from the bed to the couch. Or brushing your teeth. Or choosing an apple instead of the cheesies calling your name.

It all counts, and it adds up. 

What I’d Tell My Newly-Diagnosed Self

Your overwhelm is temporary.

You don’t need to figure it all out today.

MS doesn’t get to write your whole story.

You’re already braver than you know.

Your One Next Step

Three micro-actions:

  – Step outside for 5 minutes

  – Try five baby belly breaths, in for 4, out for 6

  – Say one kind thing to yourself

Start with just one.

Remember: You’re not alone in this.

I see you. You got this!

❤️ Amanda