Category: chronic illness

chronic illness, healing, MS

Finding Hope in MS: 2 Healing Tips

Amanda, walkamyelinmyshoes

Remember that feeling when you first heard ‘MS’? Like someone just handed you a puzzle with no picture, half the pieces missing and said ‘good luck!’

The overwhelm is real. Medication, or not? Can I still work? How do I tell people? Will I end up in a wheelchair? And on and on. The carousel of terror you never signed up for.

 My 23 year diagnostic odyssey ended with a neurologist saying, “Based on your MRI and history, you have MS. Take these (handing me a 10 pound stack of pharmaceutical information) and pick one.” That was the first time I understood the impulse to throat punch someone.

Here’s what I wish someone had whispered in my ear during those early, scary days. “MS isn’t the end of your story, and it’s not your identity.”

Here are 2 simple things that brought me back from the edge. Healing isn’t easy, but it is simple.

2 Game-Changing Tips

Tip #1: Why I Talk to Trees Now

In the early days, when it was hard to even get out of bed, the thought of going outside was as appealing as a quick hike up Mount Everest.

Eventually I dragged my butt out the back door and sat in a chair, staring at the garden. It felt like punishment. At first.

Watching the birds fly overhead, the leaves dance in the breeze and the flowers slowly open their faces to the sun, woke something up in me. Something that became a major ingredient in my healing journey.

The more time I spent outside, the better I felt. Something about just being there started restoring my energy.

Barefoot in the grass or on a beach, sitting under trees. On cold, rainy days, even staring at houseplants.

Sometimes sitting in my car at the beach or a park with the window open.

When all else failed, on ‘bed days’, I’d search “nature meditation“ on YouTube. Tim Janis is a great channel and doesn’t get interrupted by ads.

Trees don’t judge if you cry at them. Trust me, I’ve tested this. Those tree huggers are on to something. I wrap my arms around a tree and whisper my thoughts. Call me crazy, but the tree whispers back. And my nervous system downshifts and relaxes.

Actionable step: Aim for 5 minutes outside daily.

First thing in the morning is best and will improve your sleep. More time is obviously better, but doing it daily is the most important.

Start small so you can achieve it every single day. That’s how you make progress.

Tip #2: The Vertigo Solution I Didn’t Believe Would Work

Stress is the mortal enemy of MS. Living with MS is very stressful. It’s a vicious cycle.

MS stress amplifies everything. Things that wouldn’t have bothered you before, pluck those stress strings and have you vibrating (literally) with unwelcome negative energy.

How do you take back control? You pay attention to a process your body does automatically, adjust it and use it to your advantage.

In my last post, I talked about baby belly breathing. You’re born with the ability to breathe deeply and oxygenate your body properly. As you grow and get exposed to the inevitable stress of being human, you lose that ability.

Early on, I struggled a lot with vertigo and light-headedness. It’s like living in a fun house, minus the fun. When I learned to breathe properly and added specific breathing techniques, the vertigo loosened its hold over time and I stepped out of the fun house.

Actionable step: 4-7-8 breathing

  • One hand on your belly
  • Inhale through your nose for 4 counts, feel your belly expand
  • Hold for 7 counts
  • Exhale through your nose for 8 counts
  • Repeat for 3-5 rounds

Healing is possible

This is just the beginning of your journey. I know you want to feel better right now. Find that well of patience inside, practice consistently and be kind and compassionate with yourself. I promise you will start to see results.

Last week, I was hugging a tree in the park, releasing some difficult emotions. A woman walked by and winked at me. I walked past her a few minutes later, now she was hugging a tree with a huge smile on her face. What once felt a bit silly, now feels like wisdom.

What’s one small thing you’ll try this week? Let me know in the comments.

You’re not alone.

❤️ Amanda

Want more simple, free healing tips? Join my weekly email list for short, practical emails – no spam, and no eyeball swirling GIFs included. You’ll receive my free MS Mindset Reset Guide, and join a like-minded, supportive community of women determined to go beyond managing symptoms and begin true healing. Click the button and join us today!
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chronic illness, mental health, MS

Big feelings after MS diagnosis: What I’ve learned in the decade since

Amanda, walkamyelinmyshoes

First, relief. An answer to the strange symptoms that quickly consumed my life. See, I’m not making it up. It’s not all in my head. Except, uh, it was.

In no time, relief morphed into terror at the possibility of a very bleak future.

Three days after diagnosis, I found myself in the grocery store, choking on sobs as I reached for the Honey Nut Cheerios. How to make friends and influence people.

Everything felt impossible. Like I was walking through mud. Breathing took all my energy. My brain was on strike. The neurologist handed me a two foot tall stack of pharmaceutical pamphlets textbooks and said, “Pick one.” Not. Helpful.

I was on my own. So I figured it out. S-l-o-w-l-y. Let me help you get there faster.

My Post-Diagnosis Survival Kit (also handy for general life, especially these days)

1) First lifeline: Stepping outside for 5 minutes, and staring at the sky.

There’s something about the wide expanse of the sky that calms the swirling thoughts and grounds you in the reality that the planet’s still orbiting the sun and life keeps moving forward. 

Even when it feels like your life has crashed down around you.

2) Game-changer discovery: A simple breath technique that works. Baby belly breathing and extended exhales.

First let out a big exhale. This tells your body you’re not in imminent danger and immediately calms down the nervous system.

One hand on your belly. Inhale through your nose for 4 counts, feeling your belly expand.

Exhale through your nose or mouth for 6 counts, feeling your belly deflate.

Five minutes of deep belly breathing and your thoughts stop swirling. Your body shifts into a lower gear.

3) Five minute rule: This became my rule for healing that changed everything. You can do anything for 5 minutes, even on the hardest days. Walking, cleaning, cooking, crying… anything.

Once you prove it to yourself through consistency, it automatically makes you want to do more. That’s how change happens.

Small Shifts, Big Changes

Healing isn’t about giant leaps. And you can’t just heal your physical body. It’s an ‘all hands on deck’ situation of body, mind and spirit. It requires patience, self-compassion and consistency.

But healing is possible. Even if MS is incurable.

The mindset shift: From fixing everything to just doing one tiny thing.

Some days you have to congratulate yourself for moving from the bed to the couch. Or brushing your teeth. Or choosing an apple instead of the cheesies calling your name.

It all counts, and it adds up. 

What I’d Tell My Newly-Diagnosed Self

Your overwhelm is temporary.

You don’t need to figure it all out today.

MS doesn’t get to write your whole story.

You’re already braver than you know.

Your One Next Step

Three micro-actions:

  – Step outside for 5 minutes

  – Try five baby belly breaths, in for 4, out for 6

  – Say one kind thing to yourself

Start with just one.

Remember: You’re not alone in this.

I see you. You got this!

❤️ Amanda

Want more simple, free healing tips? Join my weekly email list for short, practical emails – no spam, and no eyeball swirling GIFs included. You’ll receive my free MS Mindset Reset Guide, and join a like-minded, supportive community of women determined to go beyond managing symptoms and begin true healing. Click the button and join us today!
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chronic illness, gratitude, Health, life, mental health, MS

From Chaos to Calm: Your 3-Minute Reset After MS Diagnosis (or anytime)

Amanda, walkamyelinmyshoes

Everything just changed. Your mind is spinning.

You want relief. You want answers. You want to feel better now.

After the relief of finally getting my diagnosis, an answer to my 23-year medical mystery tour, the overwhelm took over. My first neurologist handed me the stack of medication information and told me to pick one. Yeah, I fired him.

I didn’t know where to start. So I did what most of us do. I looked for answers everywhere else.

There’s so much information out there. Diets. Protocols. Supplements. Exercise routines. Many people claim to have the one “best” way to handle your life-changing diagnosis.

But here’s what I learned. You’re the only one who can decide what your healing journey looks like. And when you’re caught in a storm of information and emotion, you can’t hear your own wisdom. You need to find ground first.

MS can make you feel powerless. But creating calm, even for three minutes, is something you can do right now.

Here’s your reset:

Set a 3-minute timer.

Place one hand on your heart, the other on your belly.

Take slow breaths into your belly, the way a baby breathes. The way humans breathe naturally before stress teaches us to hold our breath in our chest.

Close your eyes or look at the sky.

Notice one thing you’re grateful for or hopeful about.

That’s it. Do this once today. Nothing more.

This isn’t about fixing everything. It’s about giving your nervous system permission to settle. Because healing can’t happen in chaos.

Do you have a quick reset to share? Let me know in the comments.

I see you. You’ve got this.

❤️ Amanda

Mindset shift: Chaos to calm.
Take 3 minutes to breathe and stare at the sky.
Want more simple, free healing tips? Join my weekly email list for short, practical emails – no spam, and no eyeball swirling GIFs included. You’ll receive my free MS Mindset Reset Guide, and join a like-minded, supportive community of women determined to go beyond managing symptoms and begin true healing. Click the button and join us today!
Get Your free MS mindset reset Guide

chronic illness, Health, life, mental health, MS

Exercise, the DIY DMT

Amanda, walkamyelinmyshoes

It’s been a long six and a half years since my MS diagnosis, seven since the relapse that made teaching impossible, but I’ve healed more than I thought possible back in 2015.

I attribute my healing to various things, namely a healthy, stress-free lifestyle, low-dose Naltrexone (LDN), a healthy, mostly vegan diet, circadian fasting (more on that later), time in nature and in my garden, and a great dose of luck that this monster isn’t as aggressive for me as it is for some people.

The biggest factor in the last year though, has been exercise. I thought they were lying. When you barely have enough energy to breathe, how can you possibly exercise? Or, when you do have the energy, you go as hard as the ‘old you’ could manage, then end up in bed for days, useless as braces on a duck.

Much nicer with no braces.
Photo by Skyler Ewing on Pexels.com

So I decided I needed to be methodical about it, and make a commitment to myself to spend half an hour a day using it before I lose it. Never mind MS, age starts gnawing away at the natural strength you used to take for granted and it’s a slippery slope. If I can binge watch Survivor at the end of the day, surely I can carve out half an hour for exercise.

Remember the movie About A Boy? Hugh Grant’s character was a rich layabout who organized his days in thirty minute increments. It became wisdom to me when I was first on disability, and now at least one of those thirty minute chunks is devoted to exercise.

If the weather permits, my exercise is walking outside because it also checks off another important part of my morning routine which is at least 30 minutes of sunlight (or a reasonable facsimile thereof-gray skies are still beautiful). I’m all about efficiency!

Otherwise, I either ride the recumbent bike or do yoga or pilates on YouTube. There are some amazing channels out there, I’ll link a few favourites at the bottom. The trick is, pick the beginner videos. You have nothing to prove except a commitment to consistency.

I know, I know, you used to be able to handle intermediate or advanced, but remember the braces on a duck? While incongruous, it speaks nothing to the true pain you can cause yourself by trying to do too much too fast. Maybe we should picture a tortoise with a headband instead. Since I’ve been limiting myself to gentle but CONSISTENT exercise, I have finally been able to maintain an exercise routine and start to see and feel the benefits.

the tortoise→ MS Warrior

the hand → MS

The tortoise might be caught but he never stops moving!

My newer, all-time favourite paid exercise program, that I do two or three times a week because it always leaves me with a smile on my face, is BodyGroove. With catch phrases like “you can’t do it wrong” and “do whatever feels good for your body”, they have turned exercise into a fun way to connect with your body and dance like it’s 1988.

For each song, they introduce three different rhythms that are simple enough for you to interpret however you want but sooo good for your cognitive health. Check out these articles for all the benefits dance provides.

https://www.news-medical.net/health/Is-Dancing-Good-for-the-Brain.aspx https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S014976341830664X

I’m not affiliated in anyway, I just think it’s a great program for anyone chronically ill, as they have all sorts of people demonstrating and showing how much you can do even sitting down. You don’t need any experience but I grew up dancing in a fairly serious way so I love that I can reconnect with that previous iteration of myself, even on days when the MonSter makes my movements sluggish and difficult.

On my darkest days, stuck in my bed, I dance in my head like I used to as a child. With strength, freedom and passion. Now, even on my mediocre days, I can push myself to do it because “you can’t do it wrong”. You need to move your body, so why not groove your body?

It was my oft-mentioned, well-respected naturopath, Dr Pamela Hutchinson that gave me the idea for the title of this post. Dr Pam believes that exercise should be considered a DMT(disease-modifying therapy), and my neurologist agrees that exercise is the single most important thing you can do to fight MS.

They’re not lying. Move your body, but gently. If you can’t commit to half an hour, commit to five minutes and build up from there. The important thing is to get or keep moving so we don’t lose any more of the mobility and strength that we still have. Fight the fight. You got this!

Top 5 exercises for the chronic illness warrior

  1. Walk – in nature or at least outside
  2. Yoga – Jessica Richburg https://youtu.be/zA5oxYvIx0c – Yoga with Kassandra https://youtu.be/6hZIzMpHl-c – Yoga with Adrienne https://youtu.be/v7AYKMP6rOE
  3. Pilates – Move with Nicole https://youtu.be/NyP_waVgL1w
  4. Recumbent bike – with a nature meditation video https://youtu.be/tck7E11SdR8
  5. Body Groove https://www.bodygroove.com

Amanda ❤️

chronic illness, life, Poetry

Voodoo Doll: MS Awareness

Amanda, walkamyelinmyshoes

Huge stakes pierce my heels

Burning red hot fire

Millions of minuscule knives

Flay the insides of my feet

A giant vegetable peeler slices off

The bottoms

*

I’m sorry to those I squashed

Those I looked down upon

From any temporary high ground

I believed I held

I am your voodoo doll

And you will have your revenge

Over and over

*

The burning piercing spreads

To hands, up legs, then forearms

Who needs to work on abs

When they stay contracted constantly

Holding in the moans

And the nausea from the pain?

*

I’m sorry to those I squashed

Those I looked down upon

From any temporary high ground

I believed I held

I am your voodoo doll

And you will have your revenge

Over and over

I don’t really believe that my chronic illness is a matter of revenge, but it’s an easy trap to fall into when I’m trying to pretend all is well but the pain is overwhelming. I think of myself as a kind person but I know in my past immature, insecure life I wasn’t always the best person I could be. However, we can only go forward and try to do better.

Kindness is the answer.

❤️ Amanda