Huge stakes pierce my heels
Burning red hot fire
Millions of minuscule knives
Flay the insides of my feet
A giant vegetable peeler slices off
The bottoms
*
I’m sorry to those I squashed
Those I looked down upon
From any temporary high ground
I believed I held
I am your voodoo doll
And you will have your revenge
Over and over
*
The burning piercing spreads
To hands, up legs, then forearms
Who needs to work on abs
When they stay contracted constantly
Holding in the moans
And the nausea from the pain?
*
I’m sorry to those I squashed
Those I looked down upon
From any temporary high ground
I believed I held
I am your voodoo doll
And you will have your revenge
Over and over
I don’t really believe that my chronic illness is a matter of revenge, but it’s an easy trap to fall into when I’m trying to pretend all is well but the pain is overwhelming. I think of myself as a kind person but I know in my past immature, insecure life I wasn’t always the best person I could be. However, we can only go forward and try to do better.
Kindness is the answer.
❤️ Amanda